The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe
Date: 2015-04-29T00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Christmas plays

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe

Author: George M. Baker

Release date: April 30, 2015 [eBook #48832]
Most recently updated: October 24, 2024

Language: English

Credits: Produced by David Edwards, MWS and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MERRY CHRISTMAS OF THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE ***

The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.

THE MERRY CHRISTMAS
OF THE
OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE.

BY THE AUTHOR OF

"Better than Gold," "Our Folks," "The Flower of the Family," "Enlisted for the War," "My Brother's Keeper," "The Little Brown Jug," "Above the Clouds," "One Hundred Years Ago," "Among the Breakers," "Bread on the Waters," "Down by the Sea," "Once on a Time," "The Last Loaf," "Stand by the Flag," "The Tempter," "A Mysterious Disappearance," "Paddle Your Own Canoe," "A Drop too Much," "A Little More Cider," "A Thorn Among the Roses," "Never Say Die," "Seeing the Elephant," "The Boston Dip," "The Duchess of Dublin," "Thirty Minutes for Refreshments," "We're all Teetotalers," "A Close Shave," "A Public Benefactor," "A Sea of Troubles," "A Tender Attachment," "Coals of Fire," "Freedom of the Press," "Shall Our Mothers Vote?" "Gentleman of the Jury," "Humors of the Strike," "My Uncle the Captain," "New Brooms Sweep Clean," "The Great Elixir," "The Hypochondriac," "The Man with the Demijohn," "The Runaways," "The Thief of Time," "Wanted, a Male Cook," "A Love of a Bonnet," "A Precious Pickle," "No Cure No Pay," "The Champion of Her Sex," "The Greatest Plague in Life," "The Grecian Bend," "The Red Chignon," "Using the Weed," "Lightheart's Pilgrimage," "The Revolt of the Bees," "The Sculptor's Triumph," "The Tournament of Idylcourt," "The War of the Roses," "An Original Idea," "Bonbons," "Capuletta," "Santa Claus' Frolics," "Snow-Bound," "The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe," "The Pedler of Very Nice," "The Seven Ages," "Too Late for the Train," "The Visions of Freedom," "Rebecca's Triumph," "Comrades," "Past Redemption," "Nevada," "Messmates," &c., &c.

BOSTON

THE

EXHIBITION DRAMA

COMPRISING

DRAMA, COMEDY AND FARCE

TOGETHER WITH

Dramatic and Musical Entertainments

FOR

PRIVATE THEATRICALS, HOME REPRESENTATIONS, HOLIDAY AND SCHOOL EXHIBITIONS

BY

GEORGE M. BAKER

CONTAINING

Enlisted for the War
The Champion of Her Sex
The Tournament of Idylcourt
A Thorn among the Roses
Never Say Die
The Visions of Freedom
A Christmas Carol
The Merry Christmas of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe

Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1874, by
GEORGE M. BAKER
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of Massachusetts

Copyright, 1902, by Emily F. Baker (in renewal).

THE MERRY CHRISTMAS
OF THE
OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE.

CHARACTERS.

The Old Woman who lived in a Shoe.
Santa Claus, disguised as a Beggar.
Ten or twelve Children, Boys and Girls of various ages.

Scene.—The exterior of "Copper Toe Shoe House," which is set at back of platform.

Chorus (invisible); air, "Revolutionary Tea" (p. 194, "Golden Wreath").

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe;

Of children she had a score:

So many had she, to know what to do

Was a question which puzzled her sore.

(Head of Child appears at 1.)

To some she gave broth without any bread;

But never contented were they,

Till she whipped them all soundly, and put them to bed,

And then very happy were they,

And then very happy were they.

(Head appears at 2.)

"Now, mother, dear mother," the young ones would cry,

As they dropped off with a nod,
"To train up a child in the way to go,
O mother, dear, ne'er spare the rod.

(Child's head appears at 3.)

For broth without bread is a watery waste;

And never contented are we,

Till with your good stick it is thickened to taste;

(Three heads appear at 4.)

And then, oh, how happy are we!

And then, oh, how happy are we!"

Enter Old Woman, R. Her costume, bodice, quilted petticoat, sugar-loaf hat, high-heeled shoes, and cane.

O. W. Aha! (Heads disappear quick.)

Good gracious! can't I leave the house a minute,

But what a head's at every window in it?

Don't let me see the tip of a single nose;

For, if you do, we'll surely come to blows.

Poor dears! they want the air. Well, that is cheap

And strengthening; for they live on air and sleep.

Food is so high, and work is so unstiddy,

Life's really wearing on this poor old widdy.

FRONT VIEW OF COPPER TOE SHOE HOUSE.

1. Split in the Heel.

2. Patch on the best Corn.

3. Copper Toe.

4. Lookout, or Observatory at top of House.

(Heads appear, one after the other, as before.)

Ah me! here's good old Christmas come again.
How can I join in the triumphant strain
Which moves all hearts? I am so old and poor,

With none to aid me from their generous store.

Child at 1. Mother, I want a drum.

Child at 2. I want a doll!

Child at 3. Gimme a sword!

Three Children at 4. Got presents for us all?

O. W. Aha! (Heads disappear quick.)

Poor dears! if with the will I had the power,

The choicest Christmas gifts should on them shower.

Song: Old Woman; air, "Comin' through the Rye."

If a widdy's with her biddies,
Living in a shoe,
If a widdy's work unstiddies,
What'll widdy do?

(Heads appear as before.)

Every mother loves her biddies;
Many a one have I;
But where get gifts to fill their fists,
When I've no gold to buy?

Aha! (Heads disappear quick.)

There is a sprite oft comes this night,
Whom children love full well;
But what's his name, and where's his hame,
He does not always tell.

(Heads appear as before.)

Lads and lassies know good Santa,
With presents not a few;
Would he were here, my chicks to cheer,
Living in a shoe!

Aha! (Heads disappear.)

Well, I'll get in, and make the children warm.

Tucked in their beds, they're always safe from harm.

And in their dreams, perhaps, such gifts will rise

As wakeful, wretched poverty denies.

(Disappears behind shoe.)

Enter cautiously, R., Santa Claus; his fabled dress is hidden by a long domino, or "waterproof;" he has, swung about his neck, a tin kitchen, on which he grinds an imaginary accompaniment to his song.

Santa. "You'd scarce expect one of my age"—

For gray hair is the symbol of the sage—

To play at "hide-and-seek," to your surprise.

Here's honest Santa Claus, in rough disguise.

But 'tis all right, as I will quick explain,

For I've a mystic project "on the brain."

I've dropped down chimneys all this blessed night,

Where warmth and comfort join to give delight;

I've filled the stockings of the merry elves,

Who, to fond parents, are rich gifts themselves;

And now I've come, resolved to make a show

In that old mansion with the copper toe,

Where dwells a dame, with children great and small,

Enough to stock a school, or crowd a hall.

If they are worthy of our kind regard,
Christmas shall bring to them a rich reward.
So I have donned for once a meaner dress,
To personate a beggar in distress.
If to my wants they lend a listening ear,

The rough old shoe shall glow with Christmas cheer:

If they are rude, and turn me from the door,

Presto! I vanish, and return no more.

Song: Santa Claus; air, "Them blessed Roomatics."

My name's Johnny Schmoker, and I am no joker;

I don't in my pockets no greenbacks perceive.

For, what with high dressing in fashions distressing,

I can't with a morsel my hunger relieve.

My stomach so tender, that aches there engender;

The whole blessed day I am crying out, "Oh!"

Drat these grand fashions! they wakens my passions,

A-nippin' and gnawin' my poor stomach so!

(Heads appear as before.)

I've had the lumbager, dyspepsy, and ager,

With tight-fitting veskits and pantaloons too;

Highsterics and swimins, delirious trimins,

St. Vestris's dance, and the tick dolly-oo.

But not the whole gettin', one's body tight fits in,

Is noffin' to this, which is drefful. Oh, oh!

Drat these grand fashions! they wakens my passions,

A-nippin' and gnawin' my poor stomach so!

(Heads disappear.)

Now, there's a touching song to move the heart,

Hark! what's that? I thought I heard them start.

Song: Children, outside; air, "Oh, dear, what can the matter be?"

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?

Dear, dear, what can the matter be?

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?

Somebody's groaning out there!

A hungry old beggar has come here to tease us,

By grinding an organ he knows will not please us.

He hopes it may bring him a handful of pennies,

To buy him a loaf of brown bread.

Enter Old Woman, with Children, L., from behind shoe. The largest hangs on to her skirts, the next in size to the largest, until they dwindle to the smallest; repeat song as they enter slowly, turn to R., march across stage; turn to L., march across again; turn to R., and form across stage.

O. W. Now go away, old man. 'Tis very queer

That you should seek to waste your sweetness here;

For we've no money, not a cent, to pay

For music; so you'd better up and move away.

Santa. Alas, alas! and can you be unkind
To one who's been by Fortune left behind;
Who has no friend, no money, and no clo'es;
The hunted victim of unnumbered woes?
Good dame, I ask not money: if you please,
A simple crust my hunger to appease.

O. W. Good gracious! Starving! Children, do you hear?

The old man's hungry: quickly disappear!

(Children scamper behind shoe.)

Santa. She drives them in. To me 'tis very clear

Old Santa fails to find a welcome here.

O. W. We're very poor, have fasted many a day,

Yet from our door ne'er drove the poor away.

Song; air, "Balm of Gilead," by the Children, who march in as before, carrying sticks, on which are stuck apples, potatoes, crusts of bread, turnip, carrot, "beat," &c. They move around the stage, singing as they pass Santa; the last time, pitch their potatoes, &c., into his tin kitchen. He stands L. of stage; Old Woman, R.

Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Down at Copper Toe Shoe.
Cold potato—tato,
Cold potato—tato,
Cold pota—to,
Down at Copper Toe Shoe.

(No interlude.)

Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Down at Copper Toe Shoe.
Crusts for breakfast—breakfast,
Crusts for breakfast—breakfast,
Crusts for break—fast,
Down at Copper Toe Shoe.

Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Oh, you sha'n't be hungry now,
Down at Copper Toe Shoe.
Broth for supper—supper,
Broth for supper—supper,
Broth for sup—per,
Down at Copper Toe Shoe.

Oh, you sha'n't, &c.

Santa. Well, well, I'm puzzled! Here's a grand surprise.

Bless me, the tears are dropping from my eyes!

Thank you, my children. This is quite bewitchin';

With eatables you've nearly filled my kitchen.

Ah, little ones! you've learned the better part.

They are the poor who lack the kindly heart;
And they the rich, the noble, and the high,
Who never willing pass the sufferer by.

Now comes my triumph. Children, speak up bright:

What day is this?

All. Christmas.

Little Girl. No; 'tis Christmas night!

Santa. That's true. Now tell me who, against the laws,

Drops down the chimneys?

All. Why, old Santa Claus!

Santa. Bless me! how bright and nice these children are!

Each eye doth sparkle like the evening star.

Now, then, suppose I were that ancient sprite,

What would you ask, to give you most delight?

Child 1. I'd have a sled.

Child 2. A doll.

Child 3. A kite for me.

Child 4. Something still better.

Santa. What?

Child 4. A Christmas tree!

All Children. Oh, my! Good gracious! Wouldn't that be grand?

O. W. Too grand, my chicks, for you to understand.

Why, such a tree within our old shoe spread,

Would from their fastenings tear out every thread;

Make every peg to start from out its socket,

And send the buckle flying like a rocket.

Santa. Good, good! there's fun beneath that wrinkled phiz.

At playing Santa Claus, let's make a biz.

Suppose me Santa Claus. I bless you all:

Then from my waistcoat let this oven fall,

(Takes off kitchen.)

Throw off this mantle with a sudden jerk,

(Throws off disguise, and appears as Santa Claus.)

And in an instant set myself to work.

Children. 'Tis Santa Claus!

Santa. You're right. I am the man,

Yours to command. I'll serve you if I can;

For I have found, good dame, that honest worth

Can burrow in the lowliest spot on earth;
That sweet compassion's ne'er so poorly fed,
But what she finds an extra crust of bread.

Now, to reward your generous hearts, my chicks,

Into the earth these magic seeds I sticks;
These cabalistic words in Hebrew mutter,—
"Ene, mene, moni, suti, sutter;"

Presto! appear! and, glittering bright and free,

Beams on your sight the mystic Christmas tree.

(Shoe divides, and disappears R. and L. Curtains at back open, disclosing tree.)

Song: "We'll gather round the Christmas Tree." Santa Claus and Old Woman distribute presents to the company. Curtain falls.

REAR VIEW OF COPPER TOE SHOE HOUSE.

Note.

Note.—This entertainment was prepared for a Sunday school's Christmas Eve, and was arranged as follows: A stage, fourteen feet square, was fitted with a "roll-up" curtain in front. Drapery was hung at the sides and back; a Christmas tree, filled with presents, was placed well back on the stage, and hidden by curtains arranged to separate in the middle. In front of these was placed "Copper Toe Shoe House." The rear view represents the frame made of wood, in two pieces, to separate in the middle, of the following dimensions: ten feet from toe to heel, five feet and one half from heel to top, four feet and one half across top, heel about twenty inches long, eight inches high. Cover front, in two separate sections, with black cambric; for toe, copper tinsel paper; for sole and patch, brown cambric; for buckle, silver tinsel paper; the patch fastened only at bottom. A curtain, of same material or color as back stage, should be hung in rear of shank, that children standing behind may not be seen. A settee is placed behind it, on which the children in the dwelling stand. 1, 2, and 3 lie upon the stage, and stick their heads out when required. The characters can pass between the curtains at back, to their places. When the tree is disclosed, all the characters are in front, the settee is removed, the braces unfastened, and, at a signal, two boys run off the shoe, and others draw the curtains.

A. W. Pinero's Plays

Price, 50 Cents Each

MID-CHANNEL Play In Four Acts. Six males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays two and a half hours.

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH Drama in Four Acts. Eight males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. Plays a full evening.

THE PROFLIGATE Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five females. Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.

THE SCHOOLMISTRESS Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, seven females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening.

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY Play in Four Acts. Eight males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening.

SWEET LAVENDER Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, four females. Scene, a single interior, costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.

THE THUNDERBOLT Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, nine females. Scenery, three interiors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.

THE TIMES Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. Scene, a single interior; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening.

THE WEAKER SEX Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight females. Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening.

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE Comedy in Three Acts. Five males, four females. Costumes, modern; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening.

Sent prepaid on receipt of price by

Walter H. Baker & Company

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts

Recent Popular Plays

THE AWAKENING Play in Four Acts. By C. H. Chambers. Four males, six females. Scenery, not difficult, chiefly interiors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents.

THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT Comedy in Four Acts. By L. Tolstoi. Twenty-one males, eleven females. Scenery, characteristic interiors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. Recommended for reading clubs. Price, 25 Cents.

HIS EXCELLENCY THE GOVERNOR Farce in Three Acts. By R. Marshall. Ten males, three females. Costumes, modern; scenery, one interior. Acting rights reserved. Time, a full evening. Price, 50 Cents.

AN IDEAL HUSBAND Comedy in Four Acts. By Oscar Wilde. Nine males, six females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights reserved. Sold for reading. Price, 50 Cents.

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST Farce in Three Acts. By Oscar Wilde. Five males, four females. Costumes, modern; scenes, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. Acting rights reserved. Price, 50 Cents.

LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN Comedy in Four Acts. By Oscar Wilde. Seven males, nine females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights reserved. Price, 50 Cents.

NATHAN HALE Play in Four Acts. By Clyde Fitch. Fifteen males, four females. Costumes of the eighteenth century in America. Scenery, four interiors and two exteriors. Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents.

THE OTHER FELLOW Comedy in Three Acts. By M. B. Horne. Six males, four females. Scenery, two interiors; costumes, modern. Professional stage rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents.

THE TYRANNY OF TEARS Comedy in Four Acts. By C. H. Chambers. Four males, three females. Scenery, an interior and an exterior; costumes, modern. Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents.

A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE Comedy in Four Acts. By Oscar Wilde. Eight males, seven females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Offered for reading only. Price, 50 Cents.

Sent prepaid on receipt of price by

Walter H. Baker & Company

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts

S. J. PARKHILL & CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON.

Transcriber's Notes

Minor punctuation and printer errors repaired.

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MERRY CHRISTMAS OF THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

- • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

- • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.

- • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

- • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

Table of Contents

- THE MERRY CHRISTMAS OF THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE.

- THE MERRY CHRISTMAS OF THE OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE.

- CHARACTERS.

- Note.
- A. W. Pinero's Plays
- Recent Popular Plays
- Transcriber's Notes
- THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE