'Mr. Punch's' Book of Arms.

First Baron Russell of Killowen.

Arms / quarterly / i emergent paly from a legal orle of reception, a civic beak newly chained or, robed and garnished proper with bullion, slightly debruised with thunderbolts issuant from a chief [ii]justifiably rampant in invective robed and wigged proper with sleeves turned up ermine gorged with a choler of justice / ij at a bend of the field on a turf vert under the heraldic rose a sporting veteran wary to the last putting a bit proper on a likely mount turning up trumpy on the post / iij several salted guinea-pigs debrettees richly gilt and voided of scruple charged with marketable coronets bartered in lure / iiij on a ground of promotion a partisan of renown semee with shamrocks and shillelaghs and wreathed with laurels elevated and erased all proper. Crest / rising from a bar barry a tower of strength armed at all points and charged with a snuff-box of resort furtively employed for solace. Supporters / dexter, a female figure of justice scaly on the pounce reguardant sundry bubbles of finance issuant in fraud / sinister, an Irish disunicorn, brogued proper, chronically rampant in quest of autonomy.

The Right Hon. Sir William Vernon Harcourt, P.C. M.P.

Arms / quarterly / i on a ship party-coloured, shattered, dismasted and waterlogged, a crew prone to mutiny reguardant in complacence over the side a tried and weather-beaten chief avoirdupois proper, [iv]incontinently jettisoned without scruple or remorse / ij on a ground of grievance two tents of Achilles, freely canvassed in the press, conjoined morly in tension and possibly somewhat overstrained / iij a masterly heraldic bouget of finance, charged with a fleece of gold lifted proper from sundry millionaires gorged or, collared in transit on the hop / iiij on a ground protestant kensittee a veteran campaigner statant single-handed "on his helmet the motto 'Ut veniant omnes!'—'Let 'em all come!'" bearing a plume mordant guttee de l'encre transfixing several anglican traitors foxy to the last but exposed proper in mummery. Crest / emergent from a crown of the Plantagenets, a rogue-elephant of the forest jumbonee, thwarted circumvented and finally ousted with alacrity. +Motto / 'Contra dexter et audax'—'Skilful and bold in opposition.'+ Supporters +'otherwise engaged!—mainly in accepting resignations by return of post—but in place thereof [v]possibly the following will answer the purpose'+ / dexter, an eminent litterateur similarly isolated and unique in courtesy, and gratitude, charged with a colossal biography proper / sinister, an heraldic sun luluois radiant in geniality, exemplarily staunch and filial to the core. Second Motto +Welsh translation+ / 'Lyddthe ryfraf, dydd yu effyr, nod yff y nowydd!'

Joseph, first Earl of Birmingham.

Arms / quarterly / i an antique Boer in his glory regarding a lion spotted over a bordure 'chartered' componee, partly white-washed / ij an heraldic bartlet cuffed and erased under a chapeau doubled up carmine / iij an Irish shamrock, barred in perpetuity [vii]on a ground orange of prejudice / iiij a mysterious libel voluntarily erased sable, rendered more or less illegible after the manner of the new journalism / over all, on an escutcheon of pretence, several ministerial billets of the best, clawed and collared in advance. Crest / a lion of debate langued mordant, bearing in dexter paw the union flag flowing to the sinister, dropping in his progress a Phrygian or republican cap of liberty 'turned up' and refaced ermine. Supporters / two highly crusted pillars of the constitution +sang-+azure in a demi-furious state of suppression.

Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman, G.C.B. M.P.

Arms / quarterly / i on a sea of turbulence vert a jovial commodore, braided and epauletted proper in bullion, and wearing the insignia of the grand cross of the bath, mounting nimbly the bridge of a fighting-ship, drifting derelict and [ix]awash, barnacled, scuttled, riddled, and gutted / ij under a chief radiant in suavity, several heraldic partibores urgent, armed with queistions perennially brandished out of season, diplomatically exorcised, muzzled, and suppressed / iij on a ground semee of thistles, an elder of the auld licht lichtsome, kaily canny pawky silvendy to the fu', bearing an heraldic weebit cruizey or Scottish lantern, findin' salvation in the langsyne proper / iiij a rugged elephant of the New Forest on the war-path, sturdy in protestantism, and fully versed in the rubric, insulated by instincts antijingonee, turned up passee by the rest. Crest / a Scottish knight-in-armour, reluctant in temperament, but cedant under stress of suasion, haled, elected and ensconced proper in a cul-de-sac, conjoined Kimberley in opposition, portly for the nonce, but will probably gobony in harness. +Motto / 'Locus dulcis!'—'Cheerful post, eh!.'+ Supporters / dexter, a typical antique radical of retrenchment, straitened in view [x]+kindly lent by the British Museum+, arrayed gudee gudee exeterallois to the last reguardant paly in dismay the trend gory of the times / sinister, a modern liberal of imperialism fashodee, statant sanguine on a stricken field, acquiescent in annexation, charged with a shamrock of home-rule slipped vert and demi-erased. Second Motto / 'Cordate si non cordite!'—'Wisely if without high explosives!'

Horatio Herbert, first Viscount Kitchener of Omdurman.

Arms / quarterly / i a series of cataracts neatly and punctually surmounted while you wait / ij a Gallic cock marchant in chicane and emergent theatrical in advance collared in trespass and +we trust+ given the chucque proper / iij a British lion [xii]radiant in his glory sheathing an avenging sword rusted with age but trenchant to the full / iiij several stars of journalism rampant and purpure with fury incontinently ordered to Cairo. Crest / on a mount urgent with the hump a caliph proper of the Soudan imbrued gory to the last, dropping in his flight on a ground sable sundry spouses reluctant puffy without mules. Supporters / dexter, an Egyptian soldier drilled armed and furnished with a backbone made in England, crowned with laurels and bearing in his right hand the black banner of the Khalifa / sinister, a British trooper in triumph similarly charged and wreathed with laurels in augmentation, holding in his left hand a lance and in the right a return ticket proper to Khartoum available for a month. Second Motto / 'Dwell as if about to depart'—ahem! proper.

M. le President, Felix Faure.

Arms / quarterly / i on a ground virulent two crosses of the legion of honour couped by a presidential hand sinister from the breast of two dreyfusards of repute, steadfast in rectitude / ij under the shield of the chief of the state tainted with bias, [xiv]several dapper heraldic scoundrelles of the staff, plumed proper, braided gold to the waist, all banded together and rampant in tort / iij a series of highly-strung journalistic lyres in parry on the garble proper falsette in unison / iiij on a rock of degradation, interned in exile, a military scapegoat charged with treason, loaded with chains of evidence designed forged and welded in fraud, on the horizon, the first rays of a dawn of hope breaking through clouds of fury. Crests / i on a cap of liberty query, stained spotted and ensanguined gules, a peacock in pride proper, his head slightly turned, charged with the riband and star of the order of St. Andrew and a penchant for display verging on puerility / ii on a bend of the upper Nile a tricolourd African interlope of civilisation, dumped down squatty on the bank, collared eradicated and reflexed in agony. Supporters / dexter, a Russian bear sable, imperially crowned and gorged with loans hysterically courted and caressed [xv]ad nauseam, simpery bowy bendy to the last, but reluctant in committal / sinister, a double-faced eagle of Muscovy reguardant azure in dismay a kettle of fish a la parisienne. Second Motto / 'Felix fortunatus caesaris sociusque amicus.'

Additional Motto / 'Felix ill-egalite.'

Lord Kipling of Mandalay.

Arms / quarterly / i a review laudatory richly deserved quite proper / ij an heraldic jungle-bok rampant under several deodars or mem-sahibs or words to that effect / iij a lordly elephint a pilin' teak / iiij an argot-nautical vessel +in verse+ in full sale, classed A1 at [xvii]Lloyds, charged with a cargo of technicalities all warranted genuine. Crest / on a charger argent the head of a publisher urgent. Supporters / dexter, a tommy atkins in all his glory, arrayed proper by a plain tailor from the hills / sinister, a first-class fighting man or fuzzy wuzzy of the Soudan, regardant sable on a British square charged with an elan effrontee.

The Earl of Barnato.

Arms / quarterly / i +of the month+ a regal cheque in advance proper / ij fretty but checky / iij a Boer rampant and bristled / iiij grand quarters +in Park Lane+, behind heraldic scaffolding a castle garnished all proper. Crest / South African lion [xix]rampant ducally gorged or. Supporters / dexter, a bull / sinister, a bear, both proper, plain collared +celluloid+ and chained or.

Viscount Stanley of the Congo.

Arms / quarterly / i two dwarfs of the forest of perpetual night proper, journalistically exploited to the nines / ij a continent sable, crossed by a small white band issuant from the interior / iij a New York herald blowing a trumpet of [xxi]his own in exultation over repeated columns of copy sensational to the last / iiij a missionary of renown discovered in solitude near U-jiji sable. Crest / out of a demi-terrestrial globe +southern hemisphere+ a spread-eagle proper emergent in his glory gorged with honorary degrees +south latitude+, bearing in dexter claw an American flag, in sinister an union-jack. Supporters / dexter, a neutral monarch crowned, sceptred, and habited proper in a can't-go-free state / sinister, a publisher radiant charged in the arms with a colossal profit on the books of the present viscount. Second Motto / 'Mr. Speaker, I presume?' +on very rare occasions+.

Oom Paul, first Earl of Krugersdorp.

Arms / quarterly / i two British cage-birds still vulning themselves on a ground of excessive patriotism / ij a pair of scales-of-justice patent controllable and adjustable at will proper / iij a lion in cachinnation roaring over a boar charging to absurdity for moral and intellectual [xxiii]damage / iiij a dog's-eared 'hym-bok' bound in veldt with covert designs. Crest / a reform tortoise of the rand emergent couped at the neck proper disarmed and voided of assets. Supporters / dexter, a burgher rampant in piety armed to the teeth / sinister, an antique dopper also in piety habited proper in broadcloth home-made and moth-eaten to the last / both singing in unison falsette the indermiddel from 'simplicita rusticana.' Second Motto / 'Who said Rhodes?'

Viscount Gatti of the Strand.

Arms / quarterly / i argent a cruet charged extra / ij a magnum or tres sec / iij six native oyster-shells all passable / iiij a cotelette de mouton charged twice over. Crest / i a waiter passant charged with a salver argent, sinister arm a [xxv]serviette / ij a demi-customer rampant holding in the sinister hand a parapluie vert. Supporters / two jeunesses dorees flippant regally gorged or.

The London County Council.

Arms / quarterly / i three music-hall stars blatant voided of guile charged with double-entendres studded azure / ij issuant from a 'ring' sinister spotted and exposed proper a balance-sheet doctored and distinctly fichee to the last, all under a cloud sable / iij a civic turtle pommelled [xxvii]and affronted proper charged in the middle for betterment with a belabour member poignant in satire or Battersea cough-drop rampant / iiij two party-coloured fighting-cocks dancette in fury chronically embroiled proper on a ground litigious in the main. Crest / a prude vigilant on the pounce armed with pince-nez and reticule highly proper / in her bonnet an heraldic bee rampant. Supporters / on either side an antique civic effigy habited proper up to date, the dexter bearing a special globe gules, and the sinister a star extra-special vert.

The Marquis of Hooley.

Arms / quarterly / i an ecclesiastical service of plate richly chased and displayed or / ij a gratuitous advertisement under editorial protest erased quite improper / iij a Scotch moor sable dancette the [xxix]ballet Hooley or hieland Hoolichan / iiij two rural advowsons legally acquired over the counter on a human hand proper. Crest / an heraldic bovricycle urgent, tyred and inflated all proper, except driving-wheel sinister, which shows signs of puncture on a flint passe. Supporters / dexter, a full page puffy in advance announcing new company on a capital of two millions / sinister, a dean complaisant and recipient sable.

Mr. Justice Darling of Deptford.

Arms / quarterly / i on a bench tory under a chapeau-de-soie glossy a mannikin caustic and mordant in retort / ij a ground-plan proper of guidance of the royal courts of justice +enabling a complete stranger to find his way proper to his own court+ / [xxxi]iij a fountain of honour spotted and displayed proper on the hop / iiij on a ground shady to the last several old hands barry passed over rampant. Crest / a legal spark +or 'scintilla juris'+ dapper in his glory elevated ermine. Supporters / dexter, the junior b+ar wigged and gowned rampant in frenzy / sinister, the senior b+ar similarly enfuriated arrayed silk for difference.

The Duke of Rhodes.

Arms / sable, a British lion trippant, collared, chained, and muzzled / charged with a raid over a bordure all improper bearing the British flag depressed. Crests / i a Boer's head couped at the neck / ij a hand grasping a sword sinister. Supporters / [xxxiii]dexter, a blackamoor semee of pellets and guttees de sang +Loben+gules / sinister, a chartered company trooper gorged with laurels.

Hall Caine, first Lord Manxman.

Arms / quarterly / i three human legs conjoined at the thigh and flexed in a triangle garnished and hygienically knickered proper running galy through several editions / ij under a flourish proper of trumpets a christian in broadcloth issuant pele-mele from a printing-press [xxxv]/ iij sable a scapegoat preceded in triumph by a bondsman more or less accurately portrayed / iiij two Manx cats passant with sensational tales sported and displayed specially contributed by the present holder of the title. Crest / an author of distinction aesthetically habited proper, charged in outrecuidance with a sprig of the Ma+n+x Beerbohm effrontee for reclame. Supporters / dexter, an ancient statesman void of guile inveigled drawn and exploited to the full / sinister, a dignitary of the church radiant in approbation scenting purple patches for delivery in a rural diocese arrayed proper to the nines. Second Motto / 'And the harvest shall be mine.'

Baron Maple of Tottenham Court.

Arms / quarterly / i five dining-room chairs +a bargain+ / ij three race-horses sable just rounding Tottenham Cour—no, Tattenham Corner / iij a winter sale +at greatly reduced prices+ proper / iiij an art sofa of the very latest, vert, [xxxvii]azure, or gules. Crest / a pegasus rampant, new wings furnished throughout by Maple & Co. Supporters / two shop-walkers monstrant frock-coated sable.

Louis, first Baron Island de Rougemont.

Arms / quarterly / i a thorough-bred riding-turtle naiant and ridden on the curb, thereon a Swiss gentleman rouge-monte proper in nudity dirigeant with the big toe / ij a flight of wombats volant, soaring in desuetude on the wing across a setting sun / iij under a chief nunes, [xxxix]adept and ubiquitous in reclame, several gulls of science landed and exploited proper ad nauseam / iiij looking up a genealogical tree shady or insufficiently endorsed, an enquiring editor spectacled or +Massingham+ chronically reguardant in scepticism a series of travellers' tails artistically garnished and flaunted in the press. Crest / emergent from a southern hemisphere, a lion of adventure jaded and fretty, charged in the mane with a hatchet of romance slung proper. Supporters / dexter, a private of the Royal Marines, traditionally facile in credulity, gently closing the alternate eye proper / sinister, an Australasian blackamoor rampant in cannibalism bearing a long bow drawn and flexed to the full.

Arms / quarterly / i a pyrotechnic carnival displayed proper / ij three tropical cocoa-nuts statant sable +three shies a penny+ / iij an ancient British barrow, supposed to be charged with body of Queen Boadicea / iiij an arry issuant [xli]from three bars blatant on a field dotty. Crest / an ass's head regardant reproachful, probably charged on the body with a juggins rampant. Supporters / dexter, an arriet plumed and garnished somethink like, I tell yer / sinister, a coster arrayed pearly to the nines, charged with a concertina all proper. Second Motto / 'A regular beno.'

Lord Leno.

Arms / quarterly / i three bars wait fretty in the wings / ij an heraldic pavilion, or changing-tent proper, outside a pair of heraldic dancing-pumps also fairly accurate / iij inside three 'alls a [xliii]+k+night / iiij a professional's brougham passant between two 'alls 'eraced. Crest / a lion comique rampant in garb base to the last degree, holding in dexter hand an heraldic parapluie slightly out of repair all proper. Supporters / dexter, one of the 'gods' regardant, inclined to repartee / sinister, a denizen of the fauteuils d'orchestre cachinnatory to the last, charged on the breast for distinction with a solitaire of the first water.

Prince Kumar Shri Ranjitsinhji, Duke of Sussex.

Arms / quarterly / i sable a star of India radiant in splendour / ij on a field vert several long hops volleyed and despatched proper to the boundary / iij on a ground semee with centuries under an [xlv]heraldic pavilion a champion of renown reguardant in envy bearded to the full and inclined to embonpoint / iiij two canards conjoined or double duck proper collared with an eastern coronet wanting employment. Crest / an Indian panther of agility capped and sashed azure glancing furtively to leg sinister. Supporters / two umpires smocked and habited for distinction proper. Second Motto / 'Ad canga runem ibit rangit singe.'

Marie, Countess Corelli.

Arms / quarterly / i on a ground sable of reserve, invincible to the last, a log proper constitutionally averse to being rolled under a column and a half / ij in a servants' 'orle, a dog's-eared volume melodramatic and transpontine to the full, circulating urgent / iij two wild [xlvii]horses at speed, trainant from a studio a startling portrait of a talented authoress, painted under protest, and exhibited with obvious reluctance by the victim +members of the press and aristocracy most welcome, 4.30 to 7+ / iiij hidden under a bushel proper +of plate-glass+ a light of literature, shining in reclame / over all, on an escutcheon of reticence, a trumpet of glory, usually blown automatically, but quite at the service of the press, gratis. Crest / a startled fawn, proper, of timidity, seeking shelter urgent, from a wreath of laurels issuant from the suburbs. Supporters / dexter, a curate habited sable proper, and guileless to the verge of inanity passant in perusal proper of 'The Botherations of Beelzebub' / sinister, a cook-general proper guttee-de-larmes palpitant in pathos absorbent the 'Sorrers o' Syt'n.' Second Motto / 'If I am forgotten, it won't be my fault!'

Baron Lecky of Dublin.

Arms / quarterly / i a highly cultured fish out of water guttee de larme / ij on a field+-night+, five lozenges emollient for the voice / iij on a ministerial bench [xlix]highly proper a sage of renown souffrant under a surfeit of bores rampant / iiij on ground repugnant fretty a lecky-daisy or Irish sensitive plant verdant +green+. Crest / an Irish harpy surcharged financially on the pounce proper. Supporters / dexter, a British lion +LL.D.+ of literature indented sable, and suitably arrayed in gants-de-suede and shoes elastically sided / sinister, an heraldic camelopard sejant flexed at all joints, academically habited, collared, capped, and gowned.

Viscount Labouchere of Twickenham.

Arms / quarterly / i spotted before a beak several crafty mendicants exposed proper / ij inside a Westminster orle a British lion of rectitude dancette on a charter componee, charged with little [li]games sinister under a cloud proper / iij on a ground party-coloured of revolt a primrose of nobility barred and erased / iiij in a pillory an heraldic pigott displayed in contumely / over all, on an escutcheon the family coat of Baron Taunton. Crest / issuant from a club +National Liberal+, a hawk-eyed lynx rampant in his glory, gorged with a banquet for popularity. Supporters / dexter, a classical figure representing Little England suitably attired, her defences somewhat neglected perhaps, statant on the pale of civilisation / sinister, an elector of Northampton proper. Second Motto / 'Britannia needs no bulwarks—they come too expensive!'

George Nathaniel, first Earl Curzon of the Pamirs 'specially granted'.

Arms / quarterly / i under a chief wavery ermine charged with a marquess's coronet for hauteur, a popinjay rising on a ground of undoubted ability / ij a [liii]Cretan lyre employed during the European concert charged with 'wires' strained improper 'probably wholly inaccurate' / iij a sun +of a peer+ in his meridian glory who declines to set upon the British dominions / iiij a lion erased, muzzled and depressed, regarding on a bastion the flags of the powers flowing in futility / over all, on an escutcheon of pretence 'as a minister of the crown' a slip verdant. Crest / a peacock in pride ruffled and displayed proper rising from a ministerial bench. Supporters / on either side an heraldic superior purzon erect omniscient pluming himself on a garb highly proper lined silk throughout. Second Motto / 'D.V. I shall go higher.'

Thomas, Viscount Bowles of the Bosphorus.

Arms / quarterly / i an heraldic cap'en or cuttle-fish sapient, holding in sinister tentacle a master-mariner's certificate / ij two pairs of ducks, worn alternately for distinction, displayed proper / iij on a mount arabesque a [lv]diminutive cavalier in his glory urgent +motto, 'Noctem in rotingro'+ / iiij an eastern khalif or sultan on a field sanguine, charged with a halo for benevolence. Crest / a demi superior purzon erect collared, semee of hurts displaying regal hauteur, charged in the middle with a nautical telescope effrontee. Supporters / two sea-dogs or antique 'saults' regardant timbretose, arrayed all proper, couped at the elbow and knee, and the limbs replaced by artifice.

Baron Bartlett of Sheffield.

Arms / quarterly / i sable a Turkish imperial star and crescent quixotically flaunted +motto, 'Without stain'+ / ij a Swazi chieftain dancette, labelled 'Silomo,' armed and accoutred proper, and habited—well, ahem!—suitably to a tropical [lvii]climate / iij on an heraldic provincial platform a knight rampant and demonstrant charged with a peroration grandiloquent to the last / iiij a private chart proper, showing the principal ports and soundings on the coast of Poland, discovered and surveyed by the present baron. Crest / an American or spread-eagle bearing the union-jack displayed, over all a sun in splendour which never sets. Supporters / dexter, a more or less British lion in fury bearing a fire-arm proper periodically discharged at random / sinister, a Russian bug-bear passe and out at elbows, suitably bound for transport to the wilds of hysteria. Second Motto / 'Oh, Swaziland! my Swaziland!'

Henry, first Baron Hawkins of Tryham Fairleigh and Sentensham.

Arms / quarterly / i in a paddock vert, under a chapeau-de-soie jauntily poised with a rake chirpy, a seasoned sportsman of bonhomie endossed turfy to the last [lix]+motto, 'Frustum rectissimum!'—'A little bit of all right!'+ / ij an historic claimant adipose ortonee, brazen and effrontee in perjury, punctured, pilloried and exposed proper by counsel / iij under a judicial bench cosy but ennuyee and chafy in the dark, a fox-terrier proper of renown +since deceased+ constant in fidelity +suggested epitaph, 'Nox et foxterea nihil'+ / iiij under a sword of justice suspended in imminence by a hair proper a sinister scoundrel of criminality, chained cringeant and paly, appraised proper from the first, justly doomed and handed over damnee in charge to the jury. Crest / out of a wreath of laurels vert, a veteran hawk-eyed eagle of the law, robed sanguine and wigged proper poudree in horse-hair, collared, furred and laced, reguardant in pince-nez. +Motto / 'Aquila non capit muscas!'—'Flies don't settle on him!'+ Supporters / dexter, a typical counsel of the common-law bar guttee de larmes, robed silk, fairly prostrate in bereavement, [lx]and wielding with laudable vigour an heraldic mouchoir / sinister, an old bailey, gorged proper with causes celebres lurid and transpontine to the full, collared freely in advance for preference.

Mr. Punch.

Arms / quarterly / i in a field of drollery of his own, unique in satire and fertility, an artistic leech of renown / ij a knight-veteran of the pencil, or heraldic tenniel proper cartonee, historic in achievement and masterly in technique, most ably [lxii]seconded sambornois / iij two hemispheres proper representing all the world and his wife purpure in mirth, reguardant hilarious a charivari of the town, under a dexterous editorial baton urgent burnandy, going strong / iiij in a gallery of the press an alert dog-tobee fleur-de-lucee reguardant watchful and wary a party-coloured parliament-house embattled nightly in session. Crest / leaning on a staff of permanence all jules, gorged weekly in conclave and rompy in debate, a hunch-backed polichinelle proper of embonpoint rosy and humpy to the full. Supporters / two publishers of geniality arrayed gaudy in their splendour / dexter, a thorough-bassed sportsman agnulee garbed chasy to the nines, adept in counterpoint / sinister, a connoisseur bras-de-buree in heraldry, ardent in golf, conversant with stymies, cleeks, and brassies with an occasional bunker for difference. +Motto / 'Sentio eadem!'—''E 'ave my sympafy!'+

Additional Motto / 'Si monumentum quaeris circumspice.'