The Project Gutenberg eBook of "Swat the Fly!": A One-Act Fantasy This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. Title: "Swat the Fly!": A One-Act Fantasy Author: Eleanor Gates Release date: July 24, 2021 [eBook #65912] Language: English Credits: D A Alexander, David E. Brown, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) *** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "SWAT THE FLY!": A ONE-ACT FANTASY *** “SWAT THE FLY!” A ONE-ACT FANTASY _By_ ELEANOR GATES AUTHOR OF “THE POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL,” “WE ARE SEVEN,” “THE BIOGRAPHY OF A PRAIRIE GIRL,” “THE PLOW-WOMAN,” ETC. COLORED JACKET BY EVERETT SHINN [Illustration] THE ARROW PUBLISHING COMPANY 116 WEST FIFTY-NINTH STREET NEW YORK _Copyrighted April 17, 1914, as a dramatic composition by ELEANOR GATES._ _Copyrighted April, 1915, by THE ARROW PUBLISHING COMPANY._ _All rights reserved, including that of translation into foreign languages, including the Scandinavian._ _This play may be publicly read without further permission, but the acting rights are reserved by the author._ TO THE TROOPER THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY THE DOCTOR THE WOMAN INSPECTOR THE BOY THE DOG THE CAT THE HORSE THE MONKEY THE RABBIT THE FLY “SWAT THE FLY!” _A garden in the rear of a laboratory for animal experimentation. A high red-brick wall encloses the garden, into which, at the upper right-hand corner, juts the granite laboratory building. The interior of the laboratory is brilliantly white. From it a door opens upon the garden. Beside the door, hanging from a wrought-iron bracket, is a globe in which are electric bulbs. The lights are turned on by pressing a button in the framework of the door._ _In the garden wall, at left, is a wide door leading to a city street. In the rear wall is a square, window-like opening through which can be seen the Horse’s standing-stall. The Monkey’s house is in the lower right-hand corner of the garden. Directly across from it is the kennel of the Dog. The Rabbit’s hutch is placed against the rear wall, close to the square opening. The front of the hutch is screened with wire netting._ _The garden is covered by a lawn. Flowers grow against its walls, as well as in the corners made by the meeting of wall and building. Vines climb the bricks on either side of the street door. Above the walls, on every side, bend the branches of trees. At the center of the garden is a low stone bench._ _It is late evening. The garden is only star-lit. Out of the gloom come the sleepy bark of the Dog, the crunching and stamping of the Horse, as he feeds, and the cross chatter of the Monkey. The tiny bell, which the Cat wears on her collar, tinkles faintly._ _Suddenly the street door opens, and the flash of a pocket search-light is turned upon the garden. The Woman Inspector appears in the doorway. She wears a coat-suit, a neckpiece formed of the skin of a fox, and a hat trimmed with pheasant feathers. She throws her light upon the Monkey’s house: upon the door of the laboratory: upon the opening in the rear wall. The back of the Horse appears above the sill of the opening. The light travels to the Rabbit’s hutch, disclosing a mound of snow-white fur._ _The Inspector enters quickly and goes to the Dog, who is lying down, his back curved against the entrance to the kennel. The Inspector turns her light upon him. He moves._ INSPECTOR (_Leans to peer into the kennel._) Here! Let me look at you. A bandage! Oh, poor fellow! That Doctor’s been torturing you! (_The Dog growls._) There! There! (_Pats the Dog, and goes to the hutch._) A rabbit! (_Makes a brief examination; goes to the opening in the wall and looks through at the Horse, flashing her light over him. Comes down quickly to the Monkey. He is lying just within the door of his house. She drops on one knee._) Well, monkey! What’s that Doctor been doing to YOU? (_Reaches in._) Been putting a steel gag on you? Oh, the poor foot! (_Soothingly, as the Monkey moves and chatters._) There, now! Lie still! DOCTOR (_Calls from the laboratory._) Here, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! (_The Inspector puts out her pocket-flash, springs up, and hides behind the Monkey’s house. The Doctor enters, and presses the electric button beside the laboratory door. The globe floods the garden with light. The Doctor wears a sack suit, but no hat._) DOCTOR Here, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! (_Looks about the garden._) Well, how’s everybody? (_Goes to the opening in the wall, and reaches to pat the Horse._) Hello! How’s the nice old boy? (_Turns toward the hutch._) And how’s little Bunny! Eh? (_The Boy enters from the street. He is wearing pajamas. In his right hand, wrapped in paper, he carries a bone. In the circle of his left arm he has a banana, which he holds against him; in his left hand are an apple and a carrot. He sees the Doctor and halts timidly. The Doctor turns from the hutch and sees the boy._) DOCTOR Good evening, young man! Where did YOU come from? BOY I came from my bed. (_Backs a step and puts the bone behind him._) DOCTOR And what are you doing out of your bed? BOY I’m feeding your animals. (_Holds out his right hand to show the bone._) DOCTOR Feeding my animals! Why-- --! BOY My mother says you starve ’em. So,--here’s a bone for the dog, an’ a carrot for the rabbit, an’ a’ apple for the horse, an’ a banana for the monkey. DOCTOR (_Laughs and accepts the bone._) All right. (_Goes to the kennel, the Boy following, and looks in._) Hey, dog! Just gnaw on this fine big bone. (_To the boy._) And how did you find your way here, at this time of night? BOY I followed my mother. DOCTOR Why, your mother isn’t here! BOY Oh, yes, she is. Somewhere. (_Looks behind the kennel._) I saw her come in. Oh, Mother! (_Looks behind the Monkey’s house._) Hello, mother! (_To the Doctor._) Here she is! (_The Inspector stands up._) DOCTOR Madam, what are you doing in this garden? INSPECTOR Examining these animals. DOCTOR Why should you sneak and hide? (_The Boy goes to his mother._) INSPECTOR Let me introduce myself. (_Opens her coat, displaying a metal badge pinned on her breast._) DOCTOR So you’re a spy! INSPECTOR I’m an inspector! DOCTOR I’ve seen you before. INSPECTOR I’ve been keeping an eye on you. DOCTOR Well, go ahead! What is it you want to know? INSPECTOR I want to know what you do to these poor, dumb creatures. DOCTOR I use them to fight the diseases carried by flies. INSPECTOR (_Sneeringly._) Oh, you vivisectionists have a FINE excuse for your cruelty! Flies! DOCTOR Yes, flies! When all the flies are dead, we doctors will be out of a job. For now we know that-- INSPECTOR Please come back to the animals. DOCTOR (_Shrugs, crosses to the Monkey._) Well, this monkey here is--(_The Monkey chatters angrily. The Doctor falls back, motioning the Inspector and the Boy to retreat._) Look out! He’s bad-tempered! INSPECTOR Ah! You needn’t tell me how you treat HIM! (_The Doctor turns away._) And what about that helpless rabbit? DOCTOR (_Goes to the hutch._) The rabbit furnishes me with typhoid serum. And the neck of my horse is full of the serum that cures diphtheria. See! (_Takes a small case from a pocket._) I’ll take some serum--just to show you. (_Leans through the opening._) Here, back! Back up! Whoa, now! INSPECTOR Oh, don’t! I can’t bear it! Don’t! (_The Horse stamps. She covers her eyes._) Don’t, I say! Oh, I’ll have you arrested for this! DOCTOR There! (_Turns._) You see what THAT amounts to. INSPECTOR (_Faces him._) Oh, don’t try to fool me! You hurt him! DOCTOR Not more than the flick of a whip. (_Puts the case away._) INSPECTOR (_Triumphantly._) There you are! The flick of a whip! What do you doctors care about the agony of your poor victims! DOCTOR I don’t cause pain unless it’s necessary. INSPECTOR Necessary! You shouldn’t be allowed to cause an animal ANY pain! DOCTOR Oh! Then, of course, you’re a vegetarian. INSPECTOR I am not! DOCTOR Well, I AM! You talk about pain! Do you know how lambs are killed? And cattle? Do you know anything about slaughtering hogs? THERE’S pain for you! INSPECTOR We must have meat! BOY (_Proudly._) And my father’s going to bring us some venison. DOCTOR Your father? BOY He’s gone to the mountains--to hunt and fish. (_Leans against his mother._) INSPECTOR (_To the Boy._) Hush! DOCTOR (_Triumphantly._) Ha! Hunt and fish! INSPECTOR Yes, hunt and fish. Why not? DOCTOR (_Sarcastically._) My dear lady, I see that you really ARE interested in animals. INSPECTOR (_Angrily._) Oh, I know what you mean! But let me tell you something: When my husband hunts, he gives an animal a chance for its life. And if he kills, he kills quick. But you--you mutilate in the name of science. You tie down your victims--and torture! DOCTOR I use ether and chloroform. But your husband--when he pulls a trout from the stream, it dies of suffocation. INSPECTOR (_To the Boy, irritably._) Don’t lean against me like that! DOCTOR And when your husband goes shooting, he doesn’t find every bird that he wounds. INSPECTOR He finds as many as he can. DOCTOR Ha! As many as he can! But the ones he DOESN’T find! Are they chloroformed? And what about the animals that die in traps? And the birds that are snared? (_He points at the Inspector._) How about that fox? That pheasant? INSPECTOR You’re insulting! DOCTOR Madam, you’re a fine Inspector! Here you stand, admitting that your husband kills for pleasure! And you’re tricked out in the skin and the feathers of dumb creatures. Look at that poor head! Those little paws! And yet you spy on a man who causes suffering only to save human life! (_The Boy coughs, and leans heavily against his mother._) INSPECTOR Save human life! With your nasty serums, you mean? Oh, what nonsense! DOCTOR Madam, go home. And take care of your boy! INSPECTOR You needn’t worry about my boy. (_She draws the Boy to her._) DOCTOR But, see! His cheeks! He’s got fever. INSPECTOR (_To the Boy._) Do you feel sick, dear? DOCTOR Let ME have a look at him. (_Starts forward._) INSPECTOR (_Puts out hand to check the doctor._) No! Your hands are stained with the blood of the innocent! Don’t you dare to touch him! (_She takes the Boy up in her arms._) I wouldn’t let you treat a dog of mine! (_Crosses to the street door and halts to look back._) You fiend! (_Goes out._) DOCTOR Oh, all right! (_Follows the Inspector to the door, slams it, turns toward the laboratory._) But the poor little chap ought to be home in bed. (_Strikes at the Fly._) Oh, you pest! (_Looks up at the top of the wall, to where the Fly has gone, turns, touches the electric button, putting the garden again in darkness, and closes the laboratory door after him._) DOG (_Howls mournfully._) Woo--oo--oo--oo! (_Pause._) Woo--oo--oo! (_The Cat meows as if frightened. The Monkey chatters angrily. The Horse snorts. The globe again lights the garden, and the Monkey is standing with one fore-paw on the electric button. The other paw is bandaged. The Dog is outside his kennel. He, too, wears a bandage--about his head. It gives him a rakish expression. The Rabbit is sitting in front of her hutch. She moves her ears nervously._) DOG (_Howls._) Woo--oo--oo--oo! (_The Cat appears from behind the Monkey’s house. She wears a gay collar to which is attached a small bell._) CAT (_Anxiously._) Dog! Are you sick? (_The Monkey comes down to observe the Dog._) DOG No. Cat, no! (_Howls._) Woo--oo--oo! MONKEY (_Crossly._) Well, if you’re not sick, what’re you howling about? DOG Oh, somebody’s going to die. Woo--oo--oo--oo! (_The animals are greatly excited. The Rabbit and the Cat join the Monkey, while the Horse snorts and stamps._) RABBIT Oh, Dog, is it I? HORSE (_Puts his head in at the square opening._) Or I? CAT Oh, I’m scared! (_Puts her paws to her eyes._) DOG Don’t worry, Cat. It’s not one of us! MONKEY Not? Then cut out that howling! Y’ know, I’VE got NERVES. HORSE Is it the Doctor? (_The Dog shakes his head._) MONKEY No such luck! HORSE Is it the Inspector? RABBIT And she defended us! Oh! Oh! MONKEY (_To the Rabbit._) Blame that Doctor! It’s HIS fault! DOG Rabbit, it’s not the Inspector. CAT Then it’s the Boy! ALL Is it? Tell us! Oh, Dog! DOG I’m afraid it’s the Boy. Woo--oo--oo--oo! CAT The Boy? Meow! Meow! MONKEY (_To the Cat._) Oh, shut up! Here I am, that Boy’s own cousin, as you might say, and I’M not crying! RABBIT What’s the matter with the Boy? CAT and HORSE (_Together._) Yes! Yes! What? MONKEY Wasn’t the Boy just here? I tell you, it’s that DOCTOR! DOG Oh, poor little Boy! Oh, his throat. Woo--oo--oo! HORSE Throat! Oh! Dear! Dear! MONKEY Ah-ha! (_To the Horse._) Didn’t that Doctor give YOU something, in YOUR throat? ALL That’s so! Yes! He did! MONKEY That’s your proof! (_Sits on the stone bench._) CAT Then it’s true? MONKEY As true as there’s milk in cocoanuts. RABBIT Oh! Oh! HORSE Well, I’m only a horse! DOG But the Boy is almost a man. MONKEY Ya-a-ah! Look at how that Doctor treats ME! And I’M almost a man. ALL Yes. A man. Almost. You are. MONKEY (_Rises proudly._) Indeed, I am! I even THINK like a man. (_The animals agree by nods._) And I ought to live in the house with the family. But does that Doctor want me? Oh, I hate him! (_Chatters angrily._) RABBIT And _I_ hate him! (_Moves her ears._) MONKEY My friends, this Doctor is the cause of ALL our troubles. I wish HE were going to die. (_Animals are shocked._) Yes! And for half a banana I’d kill him! ALL Kill him! Oh! MONKEY Yes, kill him, and set you all free. (_Takes proud attitude._) ALL Free? Free? Could you? (_The Horse whinnies, the Cat plays, the Dog barks, the Rabbit moves her ears._) MONKEY Could I? Rather! (_Struts to and fro._) RABBIT But HOW could you kill him? MONKEY How? Easy enough! (_To the others._) Now, HOW shall--er--WE kill him? HORSE I suppose I could kick him. DOG And I could bite him. Like that! CAT I could scratch his eyes out. Pst! Pst! MONKEY (_Proudly._) I could fight him man to man! Come, friends! (_He motions the Rabbit, the Cat and the Dog to him._) We’ll bite him, we’ll kick him, we’ll scratch him, we’ll kill him together. ALL Yes! Yes! We’ll kill him! FLY (_Appears on the wall above the Horse._) Buzz-z-z-z-z-z! (_Animals look up. The eyes of the Fly glow red._) Buzz-z-z-z-z-z! ALL The Fly! The Fly! The Fly! (_They go toward him._) FLY Hey, all of you! Wait a minute! If you’re going to kill that Doctor, _I_ want to help! ALL Come down! Yes! Help! (_The Fly descends the wall; buzzing loudly. The others conduct him forward._) FLY Ladies and gentlemen, I was fast asleep up there, out of the way of the spiders, when all of a sudden I was awakened by the music of your voices. And I heard your delicious scheme. Oh, I yearn to be a part of it! For I hate that Doctor, too! ALL (_Surprised._) You? Why? Why? FLY Why? Saucers of poisoned sugar-water, THAT’S why! Reams of sticky tangle-foot, that’s why! And did you hear what he said to your friend, the Inspector? And did you see him SWAT at me as he went out? ALL (_Sympathetically._) Yes! Yes! Meow! Bow-wow! Ee-ee-ee! FLY Yes! This same Doctor who tortures you! Look at poor Horse--full of diphtheria! HORSE Well, of course, it doesn’t hurt! FLY If it hurt, he’d do it just the same. (_To the Monkey._) And think how he treats you--you ought to be a member of his household. MONKEY People are NEVER kind to their poor relations. FLY (_To the Dog._) And, oh, what he hasn’t done to YOU! (_The Dog growls. To the Rabbit._) And you’re full of typhoid. (_The Rabbit gives a little scream. To the Cat._) And you’ll be the NEXT! CAT Meow!! FLY And so he must die! (_To the Horse._) But if you kick him, his friends will shoot you. (_To the Dog._) If you bite him, they’ll think you’re mad! (_To the Cat._) If you scratch him, they’ll wring your neck. So you’d better let ME kill him! ALL YOU? FLY And nobody will ever know! Buzz-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z! (_His eyes glow red._) MONKEY (_Contemptuously._) How can a mere fly kill a man? ALL Oh, he can’t! Impossible! No. MONKEY A common fly, too. A common house fly. FLY So you doubt it, do you? (_Proudly._) My friends, it is _I_ who am killing that Boy! ALL You? Oh! The Boy! FLY Yes, I! DOG (_Howls._) Woo--oo--oo--oo! FLY The other day, when he was having his breakfast, I lit on the edge of his glass of milk. (_Darkly._) And I wiped my foot! (_Making a wiping motion with his right front foot._) ALL Your FOOT? FLY But what’s one boy! Huh! With the help of my thousand children, I could wipe out this whole town! (_Animals turn away incredulously. The Horse brays like a donkey in derision. The Cat puts a paw over her mouth to hide a smile._) I could, I tell you. (_To the Cat._) Haven’t I the entrée to the best homes? CAT (_Nods._) Oh, meow! HORSE And to the best stables! (_Stamps._) MONKEY (_Crossly._) While I have to stay out in a garden! FLY Well, then! At this moment I have six million, six hundred thousand germs on my feet. (_Raises his right front foot._) Here’s my diphtheria! HORSE Oh, horrible! (_Stamps._) (_The Dog starts, and stares at the Fly._) FLY (_Holds up first left foot._) And here’s typhoid! RABBIT Er--ah! DOG Typhoid, too! FLY I’m the best little carrier of typhoid the world has ever seen. DOG (_Grimly._) Go on! Go on! FLY (_Holds up second right foot._) Here I keep scarlet fever. (_Holds up second left foot._) And here’s small-pox! (_Holds up third right foot._) And here’s the white plague. MONKEY (_Falls back, frightened._) Ee--ee--ee! FLY Now, ladies and gentlemen, here I am, germed to the feet! How shall that Doctor die? DOG (_Significantly._) So, Mr. Fly, you carry ALL the diseases? FLY (_Proudly._) I carry them all! All! Even infantile paralysis! (_Laughs._) And let me tell you a little joke! They’ll never get rid of disease as long as I’M alive. Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z! DOG Friends, we’ve been blaming the wrong person! ALL What? You mean--? Tell us! DOG It’s not the Doctor. This Fly is our REAL enemy! ALL Enemy! The Fly! (_They fall away from the Fly._) FLY (_To the Dog._) How can you turn on me like that? I’ve tickled your nose. I’ve kept you awake. But-- DOG Silence! (_To the others._) If this Fly didn’t carry disease, there wouldn’t be sickness. If there wasn’t sickness, the Doctor wouldn’t have to experiment on us. (_The Horse snorts, the Monkey chatters, the Cat spits, the Rabbit moves her ears._) FLY Oh, you ungrateful beasts! DOG You bug! You ungrateful bug! If there’s a warm corner in the house, you have it; if there’s a sweet cake in the cupboard, you eat it. And for all the hospitality that’s shown you, what do you do? You carry filth! You carry death! You even murder little babies! FLY And what do YOU do? You sit in the laps of women! DOG I may sit in the laps of women, but I don’t put my feet in their food! CAT Good for you, Dog! (_The other animals show approval._) FLY (_To the Cat._) You little sneak. What have I ever done to you? CAT Your relatives fall into my milk! MONKEY (_To the Fly._) So YOU carry the white plague? Ee-ee-ee! (_Points a long finger at the Fly._) HORSE And every time you give somebody diphtheria, the Doctor runs a needle into me. (_Stamps his feet._) DOG Friends, I have a plan. ALL What is it? Go ahead! Yes! Hear! Hear! DOG It’s this: (_Darkly._) Swat the Fly! FLY Oh, Dog! No! No! DOG Swat him! He’s worse than a rattlesnake! FLY Oh, but you wouldn’t! I’m little! So little! DOG It’s only BECAUSE you’re little that you’ve lived so long! (_To the others._) We’ll swat him! We’ll swat him! FLY Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! (_He moves his wings; his eyes glow red. As he attempts to back away the animals form in a half circle and block his retreat._) ALL Yes, swat him! Swat him! Swat him! FLY Oh, wait, wait! Oh, ladies and gentlemen! ALL Swat the Fly! Swat the Fly! FLY (_Holds up his third left foot._) Look out! On this foot I carry a disease that’s death to animals! RABBIT Oh! Oh! (_Hops aside and covers her eyes with her forepaws. Her ears tremble._) MONKEY (_Retreats in the opposite direction and cowers in fear._) Oh! Oh! DOG Come on, Kitten! CAT Swat him! Swat him! HORSE Swat him! (_Rears excitedly._) FLY Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z! Buzz-z-z-z-z-z-z! (_There is a struggle. The Dog growls; the Cat spits. Suddenly the Dog and the Cat separate. The Fly is lying on his back, dead. The Cat and the Dog come down to the kennel. The Rabbit uncovers her eyes. The Monkey regains his brave air._) HORSE Well, good-bye to one little germ carrier! DOG And a thousand little flies are fatherless. CAT (_Smoothes her fur._) Why, that Doctor brought me home when I was starving in the street! Purr-r-r! Purr-r-r! RABBIT And he took ME away from a bad little boy! (_Hops to the hutch._) MONKEY And after all, he’s a relative of mine. And--blood is thicker than water! (_He strolls toward the laboratory door._) DOG My friend, suppose, after this, that instead of fighting the Doctor, we fight the flies! ALL Good! Yes! Hoorah! We’ll swat the flies! DOG (_Goes to kennel._) Now, where’s that fine big bone? (_Growls gently; settles down._) MONKEY (_Yawns._) Everybody ready for bed? (_Chorus of sleepy growls, meows, whinnies, and squeaks. The Monkey puts a paw on the push button, and the lights go out._) (_As the garden goes dark there is the sound of someone running._) INSPECTOR (_Calling from the street._) Doctor! Help! Oh, Doctor! (_She rushes through the door._) Doctor, oh, Doctor, where are you? Oh, Doctor, help! (_The Doctor throws open the door of the laboratory, enters, and presses the electric button. The Inspector is standing beside the bench, the Boy in her arms. She wears no hat or coat. Beside her, on the lawn, is a cat, wearing a gay collar, to which is fastened a tiny bell. A dog comes from the kennel, a horse looks through the square opening, and a monkey appears out of the monkey-house._) (_The Doctor is in his shirt-sleeves. He comes down._) INSPECTOR My boy! My boy’s dying! He can’t breathe! DOCTOR Here! (_Takes the Boy in his arms, lays him upon the bench, and leans down to him._) INSPECTOR Oh, save him! Save him! Oh, I can’t lose my boy! What can you do? DOCTOR Diphtheria! Wait! (_Takes the case out of his pocket._) INSPECTOR Oh, not that, Doctor! No! No! DOCTOR (_Brushes the Inspector aside._) Let me alone! It’s the only thing! (_The Doctor administers the serum to the Boy._) INSPECTOR (_Covers her face; drops to her knees in front of the Doctor, her back toward him._) Oh, I don’t care WHAT you do--if you’ll only save him! DOCTOR Here! Look! (_The Inspector turns._) Oh, it’s wonderful! See! Already! INSPECTOR Oh, my son! My little son! DOCTOR Relieved! (_Straightens up._) But it was a close shave! INSPECTOR Doctor, will you forgive me? DOCTOR Come! Get him into his bed. (_Lifts the Boy in his arms and gives him to the Inspector._) INSPECTOR Oh, I was wrong! I was wrong! DOCTOR No, you’re right. Vivisection IS cruel. But disease is cruel--and, oh, how cruel is death! INSPECTOR Oh, I’m ashamed! Here I was, spying on you, fighting-- DOCTOR I’m willing to be watched. But if you trust us doctors with the lives of your children, can’t you trust us with the lives of cats and dogs? INSPECTOR Oh, yes! Yes! (_Starts to go; turns._) Oh, how can I ever thank you! You’ve saved my boy! DOCTOR Don’t thank me. Thank your brother, the horse! (_The Inspector goes out, murmuring to the Boy._) Well, old fellow! (_The Doctor pats the horse, and gives him sugar._) You saved him. And I WISH you could know it! (_Stoops to stroke the cat._) Ah! Here’s a dead fly! (_Picks up a fly from the floor._) [Illustration] NOVELS BY ELEANOR GATES THE POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL. 50 cents, net. THE BIOGRAPHY OF A PRAIRIE GIRL. 50 cents, net. THE PLOW-WOMAN. 50 cents, net. CUPID, THE COW-PUNCH. 50 cents, net. THE JUSTICE OF GIDEON. (Short stories). $1.20 net. PLAYS BY ELEANOR GATES _In preparation_: THE WAITING SOUL (one act). A drama of the “twilight sleep.” WE ARE SEVEN (three acts), stage version. THE POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL (three acts), stage version. Also in preparation, a novel WATCH-MATES A romance of the China Sea. By FREDERICK MOORE Author of “THE DEVIL’S ADMIRAL,” etc. THE ARROW PUBLISHING COMPANY 116 WEST FIFTY-NINTH STREET NEW YORK TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_. *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "SWAT THE FLY!": A ONE-ACT FANTASY *** Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed. Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. 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