The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cartoons by McCutcheon, by John T. McCutcheon
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Title: Cartoons by McCutcheon
A selection of one hundred drawings
Author: John T. McCutcheon
Release Date: August 9, 2020 [EBook #62895]
Language: English
Character set encoding: UTF-8
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[Illustration]
_CARTOONS
BY
McCUTCHEON_
[Illustration]
_CARTOONS
BY
McCUTCHEON_
_A Selection of One Hundred Drawings
By JOHN T. McCUTCHEON
INCLUDING THE FAMOUS “BOY IN SPRINGTIME” SERIES, ETC._
[Illustration]
_CHICAGO_
_A. C. McCLURG & CO_
_1904_
COPYRIGHT
BY A. C. MCCLURG & CO.
1903
Published May 2, 1903
Second Edition, May 20, 1903
Third Edition, June 20, 1903
Fourth Edition, July 15, 1903
Fifth Edition, January 1, 1904
_The cartoons in this volume originally appeared in “The Chicago
Record-Herald,” and they are now reprinted through the courtesy
of the publisher of that paper, Mr. Frank B. Noyes._
UNIVERSITY PRESS · JOHN WILSON
AND SON · CAMBRIDGE, U. S. A.
_CONCERNING MR. McCUTCHEON’S CARTOONS_
_Those who have studied and admired Mr. McCutcheon’s cartoons in the
daily press doubtless have been favorably impressed by the two eminent
characteristics of his intent. First, he cartoons public men without
grossly insulting them. Second, he recognizes the very large and
important fact that political events do not fill the entire horizon of
the American people. It has not been very many years since the newspaper
cartoon was a savage caricature of some public man who had been guilty
of entertaining tariff opinions that did not agree with the tariff
opinions of the man who controlled the newspaper. It was supposed to
supplement the efforts of the editorial in which the leaders of the
opposition were termed “reptiles.”_
¶ _The first-class, modern newspaper seems to have awakened to the fact
that our mundane existence is not entirely wrapped up in politics. Also,
that a man may disagree with us and still have some of the attributes of
humanity._
¶ _In Mr. McCutcheon’s cartoons we admire the clever execution, and the
gentle humor which diffuses all of his work, but I dare say that more
than all we admire him for his considerate treatment of public men and
his blessed wisdom in getting away from the hackneyed political subjects
and giving us a few pictures of that every-day life which is our real
interest._
_George Ade_
_Chicago, March 1, 1903._
A BOY IN SPRINGTIME
[Illustration: “_Dog gone it! I wish they hadn’t found her till after
the baseball season._”]
A BOY IN SPRINGTIME
[Illustration: “_Aw, that’s easy. I can do lots harder ones than
that._”]
A BOY IN SPRINGTIME
[Illustration: “SUNDAY CLOTHES”]
A BOY IN SPRINGTIME
[Illustration: “_Dog gone the luck, anyway._”]
A BOY IN SPRINGTIME
[Illustration: THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL]
THE FRENCH EMISSARY STUDIES OUR INDUSTRIAL METHODS
[Illustration: UP-TO-DATE ARCHITECTURE]
THE FRENCH EMISSARY STUDIES OUR INDUSTRIAL METHODS
[Illustration: THE ENTERPRISING DAILY PAPER]
THE FRENCH EMISSARY STUDIES OUR INDUSTRIAL METHODS
[Illustration: THE STOCK YARDS]
THE FRENCH EMISSARY STUDIES OUR INDUSTRIAL METHODS
[Illustration: THE BOARD OF TRADE]
THE COLISEUM HORSE SHOW
[Illustration]
AT LAST WE ARE TO HAVE FOX HUNTING NEAR CHICAGO
[Illustration]
A SUNDAY TROLLEY TRIP ALONG THE NORTH SHORE
[Illustration]
SUNDAY IN LINCOLN PARK
[Illustration]
DERBY DAY
[Illustration]
THE LAKE FOREST HORSE SHOW
[Illustration]
THE WOMEN’S GOLF TOURNAMENT
[Illustration]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: THE PIRATE CHIEFTAIN--“_We’re Surrounded by perils.
Behind Us is a Herd of Wild Buffaloes, on One Side Is an Unfriendly
Shore Swarming with Hostile Natives, and in Front of Us Are Breakers and
Deadly Reptiles._”]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: “_See, I ain’t afraid._”]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: THE BLOWING-UP OF PENELOPE]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: “_For the land’s sake, child, where do you put all the
stuff you eat? This is the fourth piece you’ve had since breakfast._”]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: “_Come and look at your new sister, Johnny._”]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: “_I wonder if she likes him better than she does me._”]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: “THE VOICE OF THE TEMPTER”]
A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME
[Illustration: “SUDDENTLY ATTACKTED” BY SERIOUS ILLNESS ON THE FIRST
MORNING OF SCHOOL]
THE VACATION SEASON
[Illustration]
READING THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
[Illustration]
CIRCUS DAY
[Illustration]
THE DINNER-HORN AT HARVEST-TIME
[Illustration]
THE COUNTY FAIR
[Illustration]
THE OPENING DAY OF THE COLLEGES
[Illustration]
THE COLLEGES ARE NOW IN FULL BLAST
[Illustration]
THE FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE
[Illustration]
A BOY IN FALL-TIME
[Illustration: “_’Cept Spring and Summer, I like Fall the best of
all._”]
A BOY IN FALL-TIME
[Illustration: “RECESS”]
A BOY IN FALL-TIME
[Illustration: “LITTLE BROTHER VISITS THE SCHOOL”]
A BOY IN FALL-TIME
[Illustration: “_Poor little fellow, I’m afraid he’s a pretty sick
little dog._”]
A BOY IN FALL-TIME
[Illustration: THE BURIAL OF KAFOOZALUM]
A BOY IN FALL-TIME
[Illustration: “_Go ahead, Bill, you’re braver than I am. We’ll just
pertend we’re pirates and the crulls is a ship filled with gold and
joolry._”]
A BOY IN FALL-TIME
[Illustration: THREE DAYS BEFORE THANKSGIVING--“_I believe I’ll just
pertend it’s Thanksgiving already._”]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: A LITTLE EXHIBITION OF DEMOCRATIC SIMPLICITY AT A NEW
YORK LUNCHEON]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: TEN MINUTES IN ST. LOUIS]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: PUZZLE--“WHOM ARE THEY EXPECTING?”]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: A COSTUME EVENT AT THE AUDITORIUM, ILLUSTRATING LIFE IN
THE WILD WEST]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: MILWAUKEE]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: NIAGARA FALLS]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: BOSTON]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: BOSTON]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: AN AFTERNOON TEA IN NEW YORK]
ENTERTAINING PRINCE HENRY
[Illustration: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I THANK YOU FOR A VERY PLEASANT
VISIT”]
PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT IS RESTING AT OYSTER BAY
[Illustration: _First he chops down a few trees._]
[Illustration: _Then takes a cross-country canter._]
[Illustration: _And a twenty-minute brisk walk._]
[Illustration: _After which he gives the children a wheel-barrow ride._]
[Illustration: _He then rests for a moment._]
[Illustration: _By which time he is ready for breakfast._]
OUR PRESIDENT ENTERTAINS SOME OF HIS FRIENDS AT OYSTER BAY
[Illustration: _He first entertains an old fellow tennis-player._]
[Illustration: _And then shows a few fellow rough riders around town._]
[Illustration: _After which he is visited by some fellow LL.D.’s._]
[Illustration: _And then a couple of old hunter friends._]
[Illustration: _A few fellow politicians then call to discuss the
situation._]
[Illustration: _And finally he has a pleasant chat with some fellow
authors and historians._]
PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT VISITS MR. CLEVELAND AT PRINCETON
[Illustration: “_Ah! Welcome to Princeton, Mr. Roosevelt._”]
[Illustration: “_Would you like to look at my photograph albums?_”]
[Illustration: “_That one weighed eight pounds, Theodore._”]
BEAR HUNTING IN MIASMA, MISSISSIPPI
[Illustration: “_Now, you jest be patient, Mr. President, and ye’ll soon
have a nice mess o’ bar._”]
[Illustration: (_Four hours later._) “_I wonder where the bears are
to-day. This is unbearable._”]
[Illustration: (_Eight hours later._) “_Strange there wa’n’t none o’
them bar around. Reckon you all wa’n’t patient enough, Mr.
President._”]
CAMPAIGNING WITH BATHHOUSE JOHN
[Illustration: THE POET CANDIDATE GIVES AN AUTHOR’S READING BEFORE
LITERARY CIRCLES IN THE LODGING-HOUSE DISTRICT]
CAMPAIGNING WITH BATHHOUSE JOHN
[Illustration: COURIER FROM THE FRONT--“_They’ve routed the ‘Old Guard,’
General!_”]
OUR CHICAGO ALDERMEN IN NEW YORK
[Illustration: “_Ah, gents, permit us to show you our beautiful city._”]
[Illustration: “_Now, gents, step right up and try to pick out the
little joker._”]
[Illustration: “_Great Scott, Shorty, who wass them guys, anyway?_”]
OUR CHICAGO ALDERMEN IN BOSTON
[Illustration: “_Ah, gentlemen, you are interested in literature, are
you not?_”
“_Why, sure._”]
[Illustration: “_How is the literary movement in the West, gentlemen?_”
“_Fine. Moving right along in great shape._”]
[Illustration: “_I suppose you enjoy Emerson, gentlemen?_”
“_Why, yes, I suppose so. What paper’s he on now?_”]
[Illustration: “_And do you not love Holmes, the dear old Autocrat of
the Breakfast Table?_”
“_You bet! There’s nobody like Sherlock for a good, rattling detective
story._”]
A BOY IN WINTER-TIME
[Illustration: “_Look, Ma! See how much wood we carried in, and you
didn’t haf to ask us to, either. And we watered the plants, too._”]
A BOY IN WINTER-TIME
[Illustration: A LETTER TO SANTY]
A BOY IN WINTER-TIME
[Illustration: “_Well, how lovely for you to come over to visit your
Aunt Mary! And you’re just in time for dinner, too. Isn’t that nice? Did
you tell your mother that you were going visiting?_”]
A BOY IN WINTER-TIME
[Illustration: “_Come on! Hurry up, fellers! The hounds have found the
trail!_”]
A BOY IN WINTER-TIME
[Illustration: THE FAIRY STORY--“_Once upon a time there was a very
beautiful little fairy princess--_”]
A BOY IN WINTER-TIME
[Illustration: “_I bet yer glad to be out again, haint you, Johnny?_”]
MR. MORGAN VISITS KING EDWARD
[Illustration]
KING EDWARD MEETS MR. MORGAN
[Illustration: “_Good-evening, Your Majesty._”
“_Good-evening, Mr. Morgan._”]
[Illustration: “_You look well in your knickers, Morgan._”
“_I came on my bike, King Edward._”]
[Illustration: “_Your crown becomes you very much, King._”
“_I’m afraid it needs pressing, Pierpont._”]
[Illustration: “_Have a fresh cigar, Pierp._”
“_Thanks, Edward. It looks like a good one._”]
[Illustration: “_Let me reciprocate, Ed. Have a bunch of stocks on me._”
“_Thanks. Don’t care if I do._”]
[Illustration: _And then Pierpont settled down to business._]
MR. MORGAN MEETS THE KAISER
[Illustration: “_I hope you like my original painting, Mr. Morgan?_”
“_Very clever, Your Majesty._”]
[Illustration: “_I hope you enjoy my original musical composition, Mr.
Morgan?_”
“_It’s very clever._”]
[Illustration: “_My original poetry interests you, I trust?_”]
[Illustration: “_What’s that about ‘trust’? Ah, now you interest me,
Your Majesty._”]
PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT DELIVERS AN ADDRESS TO THE TRUST MAGNATES
[Illustration: PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT--“_We must regulate the bad trusts,
and--_]
[Illustration: “_Perhaps revise the tariff on articles that are sold
cheaper abroad than at home._”]
THE SPEAKER THAT SPOKE AT THE WRONG TIME
[Illustration: “_Sh! Do not speak, or else you’ll wake the tariff._”]
[Illustration: _And just then Speaker Henderson came along._]
SOCIAL HAPPENINGS AT BIRD CENTER, ILLINOIS
A RECEPTION IN THE K. OF P. HALL IN HONOR OF THE HON. EPHRAIM PUMPHREY,
CONGRESSMAN-ELECT
[Illustration: “Among those present were Mrs. Riley Withersby, widow of
the late Riley Withersby; Rev. Walpole and wife and children, Dr. Crosby
Niebling and wife, Judge Horatio S. Warden, Mr. Smiley W. Greene, the
popular undertaker, and wife and children; Captain Roscoe Fry and wife
and children, Mine Host, ‘Mort’ Peters, of the Bird Center House, and
wife; Attorney D. I. Black and wife and children, Messrs. Winthrop K.
Biddle, of Philadelphia, Elmer Pratt, Homer Withersby, Orville Peters,
Riley W. Peters, Wilbur Fry, and ‘ye editor,’ J. Oscar Fisher; Misses
Flossye Niebling, ---- Barnard, of Xenia, Ohio; Lucile Ramona Fry, Grace
Niebling, Kate Warden, who is home for the Thanksgiving vacation; Mae
Niebling, Myrtle Peters, Elizabeth Nicklefield, Anna Walpole, Clara
Black, and Alys Fry. Chris C. Newbower was also among those present.”]
SOCIAL HAPPENINGS AT BIRD CENTER, ILLINOIS
MRS. RILEY WITHERSBY ENTERTAINS THE BIRD CENTER READING CIRCLE
[Illustration: “A delightful affair was that given last evening at the
pleasant residence of Mrs. Riley Withersby. It was the monthly meeting
of the Bird Center Reading Circle and was an unusually successful and
happy function. Among those present were Mrs. Riley Withersby, Rev.
Walpole and wife and children, Mr. Smiley W. Greene, the popular
undertaker, and wife and children, Mine Host, ‘Mort’ Peters, of the Bird
Center House, and wife and children, Messrs. Elmer Pratt, Homer
Withersby, Orville Peters, Riley W. Peters, Wilbur Fry, and ye editor,
J. Oscar Fisher, Misses Lucile Ramona Fry, Grace Niebling, Kate Warden,
Mae Niebling, Myrtle Peters, Anna Walpole, Clara Black, and others.
Chris C. Newbower was also present for a while.”]
SOCIAL HAPPENINGS AT BIRD CENTER, ILLINOIS
MRS. SMILEY W. GREENE, WIFE OF THE POPULAR UNDERTAKER, CELEBRATES
THANKSGIVING BY ENTERTAINING THE DANCING CLUB
[Illustration: The Dancing Club met at the home of Mrs. Smiley W. Greene
on Thanksgiving evening. A full quota of our fellow townsmen attended
and all agreed on parting that a most enjoyable time was had. Mrs.
Greene was beautifully gowned in a blue and white creation trimmed with
sprays of immortelles. Elegant refreshments were served and the occasion
was rendered quite Bohemian in character by the presence of our talented
local artist, E. Milton Brown of the Bird Center Tintype Studios. Rev.
Walpole and family dropped in for a few moments during the early part of
the festivities.
ADDITIONAL SOCIETY NOTES.
Chris C. Newbower was also among those present at Mrs. Smiley W.
Greene’s dancing club entertainment. Chris says that he is not much of a
shining light in the social whirl.
* * * * *
Miss ---- Barnard, of Xenia, Ohio, who has been visiting the Misses
Niebling, has decided to remain here a week longer. Ah, there, R----y
P----s.]
THE WAR MANŒUVRES, THE GALLANT GENERALS, AND THE ARMY MULES WHO DID NOT
KNOW THAT IT WAS ALL IN FUN
[Illustration: _Shortly after luncheon the enemy’s fleet was sighted
stealthily approaching by sea._]
[Illustration: _Whereupon a terrific battle occurred which lasted two
hours; and the fleet, being sunk, annihilated, and blown to atoms
(constructively),_]
[Illustration: _Departed, leaving the army victorious, with but two
constructive casualties._]
[Illustration: _Every battery at the fort was worked with terrific
effect._]
THE NAVAL MANŒUVRES AT NEWPORT
[Illustration: “_The enemy’s fleet has been sighted off the starboard
quarter, sir._”]
[Illustration: “_Call all hands to quarters! Clear ship for action!_”]
[Illustration: “_This reminds me of Santiago._”]
[Illustration: “_The Duchess of Marlborough is alongside in her dinghy,
sir._”
“_Pass the word to cease firing, and have Her Grace come aboard._”]
[Illustration: “_Ah, delighted, Your Grace. I hope this noise hasn’t
annoyed you._”]
DECORATION DAY
[Illustration: “_Don’t cry, Grandma. You’ll see him again sometime._”]
THE INGLORIOUS FIFTH
[Illustration]
JUST BEFORE THANKSGIVING DAY
[Illustration: “HELPING MOTHER”]
JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS
[Illustration: “_Ah, I see quite a number of new faces here to-day._”]
HAVE YOU EVER HAD THIS EXPERIENCE?
[Illustration: MR. MANSHOPPER--“_I’ve discovered the great secret of
Christmas present buying. First decide positively what you want to buy,
then decide on the price you want to pay, and then go and buy it._”]
[Illustration: “_I think I like that bowl better than the vase or the
inkstand._”]
[Illustration: CHORUS OF ADMIRING FEMININE VOICES--“_Oh, isn’t that a
perfectly lovely pitcher! Oh, isn’t it too lovely for anything!_”]
[Illustration: _Mr. Manshopper after having purchased a present for his
wife’s writing desk._]
A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE
THE WOMAN WHO TELLS HER HUSBAND ALL HER PETTY TROUBLES
[Illustration: “_I tell you, it’s a relief to get home after a long,
hard day of work and worry at the office._”]
[Illustration: “_Oh, William, I’ve had such a dreadful day to-day! First
it was one thing and then another. I just know the grocer overcharged me
on that yeast I bought yesterday; and the baby cried nearly an hour this
afternoon, and the bread burned, and the dog chewed up one of your
slippers, and the roof leaks, and the hall carpet is wearing out._”]
[Illustration: “_And you must punish Willie. I can’t do a thing with him
any more. He insists on being a pirate when he grows up, and he knows
well enough that we want him to be a doctor. And we really must have a
new hall carpet, and you must see about the roof, and be sure to see the
grocer about the yeast._”]
[Illustration: “_Great Scott! I guess I’ll have to go down to the office
again to-night._”]
A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE
[Illustration: “_Half-past four--and Johnny not here yet. I wonder what
can keep him so long?_”]
[Illustration: “_Supposing he has been skating and has broken through
the ice!_”]
[Illustration: “_Or maybe he has been run over by a trolley car!_”]
[Illustration: “_Oh, I know something dreadful has happened to him. I
just know they’ll soon be bringing him home._”]
[Illustration: _But, as usual, there was nothing whatever the matter
with Johnny._]
A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE
THE MAN WHO HAD NO RIGHT TO TALK
[Illustration: AT EIGHT O’CLOCK--“_Why, take a night like this, with the
thermometer below zero, the suffering among the poor is simply terrible.
Somebody ought to take them coal barons out and string ’em up to the
nearest lamp-post._”]
[Illustration: AT ELEVEN O’CLOCK--“_I tell you, gentlemen, it’s an
infamous outrage. Just think of the suffering among the helpless poor.
It makes me mad to think of it. I wish I was President for about fifteen
minutes--you’d see some of them villains in the coal trust pay for their
confounded heartlessness._”]
[Illustration: AT TWELVE O’CLOCK--“_Well, I’ve got to be going, for I’ve
got a twelve-mile drive and it’s bitter cold to-night. I pity the poor
people who have no coal on a night like this._”]
A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE
ON THE IMAGINATIVE MAN WHO WORKS HIMSELF INTO A PASSION BECAUSE HE
THINKS SOME ONE MAY INSULT HIM
[Illustration: “_I wonder if he will remember me after all these years.
Maybe his prosperity has changed him so that he will pretend to forget
the old school-days._”]
[Illustration: “_Well, if he tries the haughty act with me there’ll be
trouble. I won’t allow any man to insult me. It would be an outrageous
way to treat an old friend._”]
[Illustration: “_And I’m too proud to stand for it a minute! I’ll mop up
the floor with him! I’ll show him that I’m as good as he is, even if he
is rich. Confound him, I’ll leave this beastly hole rather than be
humiliated that way!_”]
[Illustration: _As a matter of fact Mr. Scadsworth was delighted to see
his old friend._]
A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE
ONE OF THE PERILS OF THOSE WHOSE POSITIONS IN SOCIETY ARE NOT SECURE
[Illustration: MR. SNOBBLY (aside)--“_Great Scott, there’s that man who
spoke to me at the hotel. I wonder how he broke in here. I hope he
doesn’t speak to me right here before Mrs. Topnotcher._”]
[Illustration: “_Oh, Mrs. Topnotcher, what a beautiful tapestry that is
over there!_”]
[Illustration: “_And what a lovely chandelier you have._” (_Aside._) “_I
hope that old man has not recognised me._”]
[Illustration: _As a matter of fact, old Mr. Bullion didn’t know Snobbly
was on earth. He merely came over to speak to his old friend, Mrs.
Topnotcher, with whom he spent a week at a house-party in Windsor Castle
as the guest of King Edward._]
MR. LUGUBRIOUS BLUE AND MR. SMILEY GLADD ON THE VENEZUELAN SITUATION
[Illustration: MR. GLADD--“_Well, I see there’s another little scrap
down in Venezuela._”
MR. BLUE--“_Little scrap, nothing. It’s the beginning of a terrible war
between the United States and Europe._”]
[Illustration: MR. GLADD--“_Oh, I think they’ll adjust the trouble
before long._”
“_Now, you mark my words. Inside of three months we’ll have to defend
the Monroe Doctrine against England and Germany._”]
[Illustration: MR. GLADD--“_Oh, dear me, you don’t think it’s so serious
as all that, do you?_”
“_Listen. I’ll tell you just what will happen. England and Germany will
fight Venezuela for a week or two, then demand eight hundred million
dollars indemnity and refuse to leave till they get it. Uncle Sam’ll
say, ‘clear out,’ and then look out for something doing in war
circles._”]
[Illustration: MR. GLADD--“_Oh, I’m sure they’ll patch it up all
right._”
“_Just you wait. We’ll have a war that will be the most dreadful one
that ever happened._”]
A CARIBBEAN SCHÜTZENFEST
OR, THE SHIP THAT WAS MUCH THE WORSE FOR WAR
[Illustration: “_Ach, Himmel, this monotony is deadly. Nichts komme
raus; or, in other words, there’s nothing doing in war circles._”]
[Illustration: “_While we’re waiting, let’s heave a few twelve-pounders
over in that Venezuelan fort. Let’s wake ’em up a little._”]
[Illustration: “_By the way, gunner, see if you can shoot the
mizzen-mast off of that mule over yonder._”]
[Illustration: _But at that moment the Venezuelans woke up, and the
Schützenfest was all over._]
SHERLOCK HOLMES ANALYZES A PERFECT STRANGER
[Illustration: SHERLOCK HOLMES--“_Ah, a stranger whom I’ve never seen
before._”]
[Illustration: “_How do you do, sir. I observe that you are in the coal
trust; also that you have just had a narrow escape; that you have no
children; that you were in a great hurry this morning; that you have
been writing, and that you shaved with your left hand this morning. Are
you going away on the afternoon or the evening train?_”]
[Illustration: “_Why, this is simply marvelous, Mr. Holmes. Everything
you’ve said is true. How in the world did you find out all these things
about a man you’ve never heard of before?_”]
[Illustration: “_By a very simple process of deduction. I can tell by
your hands that you are in a trust, and I know it was the coal trust by
the hungry way you looked at my purse there on the table, and by the
fact that you glanced apprehensively around you as if expecting some one
to hit you with a club. I knew that you had just had a narrow escape, by
the fact that three bricks grazed you, and the brick dust is still on
your coat. You have no children, for if you had you would have some
consideration for poor people who have children. I knew that you
expected to take a journey, because I understand the grand jury is in
session. I also knew that you had shaved with your left hand because
your face is cut, and there is ink on your right forefinger, showing
that you were writing out an order to whoop the price of coal while
shaving with your left. You were in a hurry, because you had time to
have only one shoe polished. It’s all very simple._”]
THE SYMPATHETIC COAL DEALER AND THE MAN WHO HAD TO HAVE A TON OF COAL
[Illustration: SYMPATHETIC COAL DEALER--“_I’m terrible sorry your family
is suffering, but I haven’t an ounce of coal that isn’t contracted
for._”]
[Illustration: “_Oh, it breaks my heart to hear that your children are
suffering and if I had any coal to spare I’d let you have it._”]
[Illustration: “_Oh, your sad story overwhelms me with grief and I wish
to express my deep sympathy._”]
[Illustration: “_I’ll send the coal right down. If you need any more
just let me know._”]
DOES THE END JUSTIFY THE MEANNESS?
[Illustration: THE COAL OPERATOR--“_Honestly, I hate to see all this
suffering upon all sides--_”]
[Illustration: “_But, Great Scott, just see how much money I’m making!
I’ll soon have enough to endow a college._”]
THE COAL INVESTIGATION
[Illustration: THE CHAIRMAN OF THE COMMITTEE TO THE COAL
CONSPIRATOR--“_Now, answer me explicitly. What per cent of hydrogen does
the average ton of coal contain?_”]
[Illustration: “_Now, do not attempt to equivocate or evade this
important question. If a ton of coal weighs a thousand pounds, how much
does a ton of anthracite coal weigh compared to the weight of a ton of
bituminous coal?_”]
[Illustration: “_Do you or do you not know whether a ton of anthracite
coal dating from the paleozoic age burns more readily than a ton of
bituminous dating from the pre-glacial epoch? This has an important
bearing upon our investigation._”]
[Illustration: _The Committee submits its report._]
“ANARCHY ISLE”
[Illustration: SUGGESTED BY SENATOR HOAR]
THERE IS NO CLAUSE IN THE NEW NICARAGUAN CANAL TREATY AGAINST BILLBOARDS
[Illustration]
“IN THE SPRING THE YOUNG MAN’S FANCIES LIGHTLY TURN TO THOUGHTS OF ST.
JOE”
[Illustration: _The Michigan “Gretna Green”_]
THE ARRIVAL OF THE INDIANA AUTHORS AND POETS
[Illustration: A LITERARY EVENT IN CHICAGO]
THE ANNUAL CRUISE OF THE DOROTHEA AND THE ILLINOIS NAVAL RESERVES
[Illustration]
THE NATIONAL GOLF TOURNAMENT AT GLENVIEW
[Illustration]
SOCIAL HAPPENINGS IN WASHINGTON, D. C.
[Illustration: THE TEA AND PUNCH ROUTE ON CONNECTICUT AVENUE DURING THE
BUSY HOURS]
ONE RESULT OF THE MODERN METHODS OF THE UP-TO-DATE CHURCH
[Illustration: “_John, I just know there’s somebody trying to get in our
front door._”]
[Illustration: “_Now, do be careful when you open the door, John._”]
[Illustration: “_John, John, don’t open that door!_”]
[Illustration: “_Gee! I didn’t know w’ere te toor-bell wass at._”]
[Illustration: “_Oh, John, I just know something dreadful has happened
to father!_”]
[Illustration: “_Gee! if dere hain’t no answer, I guess I’ll mosey back.
Gee! dis is a peach of a night._”]
GENERAL CHAFFEE AND VICE-GOVERNOR WRIGHT ARRIVE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
[Illustration: “_Let us give them a Filipino welcome that will make them
feel at home._”]
THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO FOOTBALL TEAM--
[Illustration: AS STAGG DESCRIBES THE CONDITION OF THE TEAM BEFORE THE
GAME--]
[Illustration: AS THE TEAM REALLY WILL BE DURING THE GAME]
THE POPULAR GIRL WHO WISHED OUT LOUD
[Illustration: _“Oh, I should so dearly love to have a nice Boston
terrier!”_]
[Illustration: _December twenty-fifth_]
End of Project Gutenberg's Cartoons by McCutcheon, by John T. McCutcheon
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